Give Me a Break

Hey, everyone, why do I have to keep repeating the same statements over and over and over again about these crimes committed by TV networks? Am I right to think that there is more in that broadcast signal than what appears on the screen? Seems like everyone forgets about this massive fraud on a weekly basis, as though their memories were being wiped clean by something - something I continually warn them to avoid. Then I have to remind them all again after taking more insults from small children, more hassling from strangers, more slammed doors from bus drivers, and all the other horrors I never deserved and have been detailing here for the last seven years. And when criminals are caught and prosecuted for a vicious crime, do you go to them and ask them for their side of the story? This seems to be the exclusive privilege of the stars who ripped me off. When you go to a convicted criminal for his side of the story, it's as bad as blaming his victim for his crime. And with all the curiosity about who I am and what I'm about, why do you go to strangers for this information? I live alone. My own family doesn't even know me that well. I drew my first portrait from life when I was eight and my father only said something like 'that piece of paper won't last a week in this house.' If my own family doesn't even know me that well, why would a complete stranger know me any more than they do? Has it occurred to anyone to ask me about me yet? In twenty years? The guy that drew those cartoons, the guy that wrote those stories and poems, the guy that wrote those songs, the guy that wrote those scripts, you know, ME! Is NBC through asking everyone else on the planet about me? And here I am with no one coming forward with any questions. That's pretty unfair. In fact, it's so unfair that it must be illegal.
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