Blessed by Hesitation

A limousine showed up outside my building in 2011 and a pretty girl emerged with a man who promised me the Moon if I got into the car with them. As tempting as the offer was, I told them I would have to 'talk it over with God'. In other words, I needed to think about what God would want me to do before I made up my mind. They left and never returned. Putting God first saved me. I've since learned that this was a trick. They were only trying to lure me into the car so they could turn around and charge me with some awful crime. Once you're alone in a car with a girl, it's your word against hers, but in their case, the man would have taken her side as a witness. They tried a similar trick on me in December 2008, immediately following my re-post of my Christmas set. These industry people are unspeakably evil. Good thing I'm not a premature ejaculator like all those fools who ripped me off. I've been hesitating ever since I came back online in 2010. In 2011 and 2012, the media started hyping me as the next big thing, or so I've learned retroactively. This was all a ploy to get me to appear on Dateline where they planned on terminating my popularity. Do all my readers know that I've never been on Dateline? They just want you to think that because such an appearance would erode my very strong legal position against Dateline. In fact, I can say with confidence that the host of that Dateline show that featured everyone I knew, which they broadcast behind my back, went to prison in 2013. This is the truth. If it weren't, I wouldn't be here to type it into my records for the whole world to see. It was back in 2011 or 2012 that I first heard a local band of Simple Simons playing their dreadful music at the Blarneystone. Isn't that the drinking spot I wrote about in my blog back then? There were quite a few people there to support them. I guess they got a boost from the media. Now if I didn't know better, I'd think they had been put on the radio as the new great local talent in my place. If this is true, the business only signed them to add insult to the numerous injuries they have caused me. This band's lack of literacy is clear in their lyrics and their deficiency of imagination is obvious in their boring melodies. Does everyone remember how I said in 2011 that Nowhere Man would have sounded boring if Paul McCartney didn't break up its bass line? I later erased this because I didn't want to sound too condescending. But did this band come along with a bass player who was determined to play the same four notes through every song and did the business sign them? If they were only signed to discourage me, that is how they will be remembered by history. On the other hand, I will be remembered as an artist and a poet. In the meantime, I think they need a Pianosaurus player to play with one hand through their new songs. Might add a little texture. This band might be all high on themselves now, but we'll see how this all ends up. Only time will tell.
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