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Garrison: Welcome to Word Warriors. Today the eminent linguist, Clarence P. Hedges, will face the brilliant poet, Anthony Quagmire in what promises to be a thrilling battle of wits. I am your moderator, Humphrey Garrison III. The discussion will commence with a salvo from Mister Hedges aimed at his opponent. Hedges: You, Mister Quagmire, are the illegitimate offspring of your mother. Quagmire: Is that so? Well, you, Mister Hedges, are the illegitimate offspring of a female dog. (Light applause.) Hedges: You look like a rectum. Quagmire: You are a rectum. Hedges: I see. Well, you practice oral sex on men! Quagmire: You practice oral sex on animals! (More light applause.) Hedges: That does it! You, sir, read Coles Notes! Quagmire: WHAT? YOU MOTHER LOVER! (The debate turns violent as Quagmire gets up and throws a sissy punch at Hedges. The scene erupts into an angry brawl as audience members flood the stage to support their favorites.) |
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| © 2007, 2014. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Word Warriors
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