Baptism of Fire

Welcome to Baptism of Fire where we try to show the human side of the war industry. And one way to put a human face on a deadly weapon is to give it a woman's name. The B-29 flown over Hiroshima to drop the atomic bomb was named after her pilot's mother, Enola Gay. Big Bertha, the famous howitzer, took its name from a German artillery officer's childhood nanny. And my guest today from Russia is here to let us know that we are not the only ones who love our guns and bombs. That's right. We, too, assign women's names to our weapons. For instance, the Motherland was saved by our beloved Katyusha rockets. Katyusha was the designer's nine-year-old niece. You named your artillery after a sweet little schoolgirl? Doesn't sound very appropriate. Oh? Have you met my nine-year-old niece Grushenka? Grusha! Come on the stage and meet the man. (Enter Grushenka to applause. She runs up to the host and kicks him hard in the shins, causing him to groan and buckle over in his chair. Exit.) Point taken. And I can see the logic for you calling your latest thermonuclear weapon Svetlana because it is your word for an exploding star, but why on earth would you give a girl that name? Have you met my wife, Svetlana? Svetlana, dear! Come up and say hello to our gracious host. (Enter Svetlana to applause. She heads straight for the host, grabs his shoulders and shakes him violently, then follows through with hard face slaps, back and forth, until she is satisfied with her results. Exit.)
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© 2007, 2014. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.