Kill the Prick! (Perry Millstone)

Hi everyone! Aren't you a lovely crowd! Good day and welcome to Kill the Prick! where we sort out the decent offenders from the ones who deserve to die. I'm with Perry Millstone who has waived his right to be imprisoned by the state to come on the show and present us with his case. Never mind my name. So how did you get into trouble, Perry? I was arrested for having sex with a prostitute in my car. Well, that's a pretty typical offense. Most of the time you can get away with just losing your job for something like that. By the way, what is your job? I'm a pimp. Oh, then you're not so innocent. Still, it is possible for you to reform your behavior. I really need a break. My daughter is depending on me. She's in the hospital. I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe if you can get a statement from the girl they caught you with- She's in a coma. Why? Oh. I don't know. I guess I roughed her up a bit. I thought she was into it. Then maybe your daughter can speak on your behalf. What? I already said she's in a coma. (Pause) You mean your daughter was the hooker they caught you with? I love her very deeply. What do you say, audience? Should we kill the prick? (The crowd howls 'kill the prick!' as a meter with a raised thumb on one side and a pointed down thumb on the other side shows its support for the offender's execution.) And it's thumbs down for you, Mister Millstone! The people have spoken. Could you get on your knees and turn the other way please? Yes, now lower your head. This won't hurt a bit. (He pulls out a pistol and shoots Millstone in the back of the head. Blood gushes out of his head as the crowd goes wild.)
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© 2007, 2014. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.