Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Wanted for Murder

Wanted for Murder
Remember when I said that my battle with aggressive crows was started by them? I could be wrong about that.

When I was a boy, I saved my paper route money and bought a pellet gun. I would practice on floating targets by the river. My friend and I would go hunting birds with it. One time we killed a crow. Since that day I have been wanted for murder.

My back yard buddies today told me about a UBC study which found that crows have facial recognition, which they can pass on to future generations. When I worked at the recycling plant, the crows would be waiting for me every Sunday when the street was the most desolate. They would stalk me from their lofty posts, following me every step of the way from First to Sixtieth Avenue.

They can sense my fear and absolutely terrify me. One time a gang of them all converged on one and tore the victim to pieces right in front of me. Have you ever seen anything like that? And every summer I get swooped down on regularly. I guess I deserve it, but I hope I can make it up to them somehow.
  
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