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Good evening and welcome to Tele-Vigil, where we keep an eye on the TV. Every day millions of television junkies struggle helplessly against their addiction. We have reviewed every TV channel over the last twenty-four hours to help think of solutions. Since each addict's dependence is peculiar to their favorite content, the cycle may be broken by a radical change in their viewing schedule. Cartoon watchers must watch National Geographic documentaries, sports fans must watch Senate debates, and music video lovers must watch golf tournaments. This will restore activity to the areas of the brain currently deadened by sensory deprivation. After two months, viewers should recover enough to be able to return to their favorite programs. As for the accusation that too much television viewing can lead to criminal behavior, my probation officer thinks that's ridiculous. For Tele-Vigil I'm Paul Falstaff.
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