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(A crowd celebrates an election win.) Bystander 1: It looks like the senator's been re-elected. (Her companion takes out a roll of candies and pops one into his mouth.) What's that? A lifesaver? Bystander 2: These aren't lifesavers, they're life shavers. Bystander 1: Life shavers? Bystander 2: Yes, the perfect solution for smokers who still want a shortened life expectancy but without the nagging symptoms of fatal lung and heart diseases. Bystander 1: But how? Bystander 2: Each life shaver is coated with a drop of potassium cyanide too small to kill on its own. The poison builds up in the body over decades until it reaches a level which can cause instantaneous and painless death. So now, instead of lighting a cigarette to protest everything that offends me in this world, I just pop a life shaver. Bystander 1: Can I have one? Bystander 2: I'm afraid not. They're addictive. Announcer: Life Shavers: good to your last breath. |
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| © 2007, 2014. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Friday, August 22, 2014
Life Shavers
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