Staying the Course

If you were wondering why I didn't make it big as Dateline promised in 2012, maybe you didn't know that there were a few more violators of my copyright holding me back than merely the Crystalids. These violators include Taylor Swift, The Rolling Stones, Oasis, the band that stole my song 'Virtue', Coldplay, George Carlin, Jay Leno, Ellen Degeneres, Jimmy Kimmel, Conan O'Brien, Saturday Night Live, The Simpsons, Family Guy, Jon Stewart, Dateline NBC, probably FOX News, CBC's David Frum, George W. Bush, Jonathan Torrens, Clint Eastwood, Gene Hackman, Madonna, and Leonard Cohen. With this many high profile offenders, I'm sure there are many others I'm leaving out. This massive conspiracy against me by stars, broadcasters, and advertising professionals was clearly expected to wipe me out. After all, they thought, how could a solitary person like myself defend himself against so many enemies? It certainly hasn't been easy. By the time I get around to exposing the latest offender, many people have forgotten the first one. But it has been possible, over the years, to bump these fiends off the TV, one at a time, with my persistent cry for justice in this account. Some people think that with so many against me I am doomed to fail, regardless of my innocence and my talent. I disagree. You see, I have the police on my side. Maybe they don't have millions of dollars or huge transmitters broadcasting from coast to coast, but they can arrest and incarcerate criminals. I think that gives my side a decisive edge and my success will simply demand that I stay active online for as long as it takes. It is because I am active online that copyright violators are so quickly caught now. Not only are my readers and I paying close attention to my posts, but I am able to go over my work and add to it in ways that call out others who falsely claim possession of it. When the Crystalids stole Chair, they thought they had a finished song. If you listen to my version, you'll notice that half the lyrics were missing from the one you might have heard on the radio with Dean singing. All My Money was also missing half its lyrics when it was broadcast on the radio as fraud, and its rhythm was simplified so that the band could play it. And did Saturday Night Live use the Celebrity Roundup sketch I first wrote about their own incarcerations in 2007? Did their sketch extend to the branding scene? If I didn't share it yet, there's no way they could have thought of it themselves. As the author of my work, I can see ways to improve or lengthen it that no one else can see. Besides that, anyone who is too lazy to write their own work is bound to be too lazy to edit it or add to it. In the rush to their premature ejaculation, they steal my new work as soon as I share it. But how do they know it is a finished work? As long as I'm active on the web, they will find out the hard way. In my neighborhood I am now suspected of being a cop. This is funny. I've gone from being called a sex offender to being called a cop. Oh well, at least a cop is decent.
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